The "in-between"

Each day I realize more and more how much I have yet to learn.

     On July 5th, I started a new job working as a dental assistant at an office in Saskatoon. In my mind I had things all worked out perfectly-I would work 8-4:30, Monday to Friday, and still get to enjoy some summer while living at home. But due to unforseen circumstances by the office and me, my hours were being cut back by a fairly significant amount. Although I was disappointed considering the amount of money I have yet to raise,I was just thankful to have a dental assisting job (and still am!). Besides that,I was definitely willing to do some extra things around the office and pick up another job for evenings and weekends to make up for the hours I was losing. So I did. Once again I figured I had things cased, however these unforseen circumstances are continuing to pose an issue and my hours at the dental office are threatened by cutbacks once again AND it is uncertain how many hours I'll be getting at the second job.

     I'm trying not to jump the gun and get all stressed about finances. I know that there is more to life than worrying about money and that I serve a God who is bigger than "unforseen circumstances". However, I can't help but be slightly nervous about everything coming together like it needs to. As I was pondering all this on the way home from work today, I really felt God remind me to rely on him.Fully and whole-heartedly. Although I like to say I'm trusting God to provide the way if I'm called to go, the prideful part of me wants to earn my way there and rely very little on God or others to help me. Self-sufficient, independent, in control-all things I think I need to be but nothing like the person God wants me to be. When we get to a place where we don't need others or most importantly God, it's a dangerous place to be.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. It can't get much plainer than that, can it? Whole-hearted trust in God means that he(who is able to do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine-Ephesians3:20) will take care of the details and the way I should go. All I have to do is walk.


58 Days

Why YWAM?

Many people have been asking me why I decided to do a DTS. Fair question...I only wish I had a clear answer. What do you do when God asks you to do something but you don't understand why? I'd be lying if I told people I always dreamed of doing a DTS...I didn't even know what it was till a few years ago! But its no lie that I've always longed to "go somewhere and do something" of significance for the kingdom-I just didn't know where. We live in a world where we don't have to look far to find people that are hurting,poor and impoverished, sick or lame. Look around you next time you walk down the street in any city. So how do you choose when your heart breaks for the child soldiers in Uganda, or for the devastated people of Haiti, for the inner city kids in our Saskatchewan cities, or for the homeless man in the Superstore parking lot that keeps getting ignored? I like how Edward Hale puts it, "I am only one, but still I am one; I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." I love that. Wherever you are, there is always something you can do-some small way you can help somebody who is hurting and show them Jesus' love.

So why Jamaica,why YWAM? As I said, I've always wanted to travel and do missions somewhere. For I awhile I considered using my training as a dental assistant to help others in countries without access to the luxury of dental care, (Yes, despite how many of you may despise going to the dentist, we are blessed to have easy access to care!), going to an orphange in Africa to care for children abanonded by their parents or going to deliver shoe boxes with Samaritans Purse. But none of it felt right, something was missing. I realized that more than my desire to help others, God had given me a hunger  to know him-to learn more about who he is and who I am in him. I truly believe that the more we learn about our heavenly Daddy, the more we become like Christ,our potential to do big things for him soars. Ephesians 1:11-12 says that "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we heard of Christ and got our hopes up; he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone".(Taken from the message.) How else can we find out what our purpose is on earth except through knowing Christ?

Sum all that up to say that a DTS is the one thing I found that combined my two desires; my hunger for God and my desire to serve him. Does it make sense to quit my job, move back into my parents house, and try to raise 10 grand in 2 months?No. Even though to the world, I'm going backwards on the "rich and successful" path, I've never felt the peace I feel about going to Jamaica. Sure, doubts come and some days I think I've lost my brain,but I can't help but be excited for what God has instore for me.Glorious living?Sign me up!

Even though I won't be leaving for Jamaica for a while, I wanted to keep you guys updated on how things are going as I prepare to leave for MoBay. Last Sunday I moved from Regina back to Waldheim to live with my parents. How strange it is to be back under my parents roof for more than a weekend! Aside from that, I am so thankful to have parents who love and support me no matter what. I have a little less than half of the money I need for Jamaica when I combine my savings and the support I have already received.It`s exciting to watch how God is providing and opening doors.

75 days
Regina peeps, I miss you already.
Saskatonians and Heimers, It`s going to be a fun summer:)